Johnmas
"It's your old friend, Strawman Johnmas!" ~ Strawman Johnmas, 2016 : "You ever had a bruised knee before? That shit hurts!" ~ Johnmas, 2017 : "I get it! It's all a joke and Johnmas wan't invited!" ~ Johnmas, 2017 Tom Johnmas (often known by various extensions, such as Strawman Johnmas or Mecha-Johnmas) is Quinton's arch-nemesis. He will appear during reviews, uninvited, and usually attempt to kill, harm, or gain the attention of Quinton. He is, in some sense, immortal -- given that he can die, but that he is constantly resurrected by other forces. He is played by Caleb Adkins. Strawman Johnmas Strawman Johnmas' first appearance was in Quinton Reviews 'Robotech: The Shadow Chronicles', where he kidnapped Quinton in the middle of his title sequence and tied him up in a basement. A 45-year old who was once a fan of Robotech, Strawman Johnmas apparently had spent some time stalking Quinton online after labelling him a "Harmony Gold apologist." After Quinton woke up in the basement, Johnmas forced him to review Robotech: The Shadow Chronicles. Throughout the review, Quinton slowly cut through the ropes with a potato peeler, and eventually managed to defeat Johnmas by calling the police and having him arrested, by a potentially fake officer. (Quinton Reviews 'Robotech: The Shadow Chronicles') Strawman Johnmas next called Quinton from prison, where he informed Quinton of a review which he never finished from 2013. After Quinton hanged up on him rudely, Johnmas loudly threatened to "kill the shit out of him." (The Top 10 Doctor Who Anniversary Stories of 2013) After being let out on parole, Johnmas next broke into Quinton's house and threatened him. Instead of actually doing anything, he instead continued to ramble about what he could do, leading to Quinton simply walking up and snapping his neck, killing him. (Quinton Reviews 'Power Rangers: The Legendary Battle') Resurected At some point, Johnmas was resurrected. Afterwards, he scoured the Earth for the legendary Blood rubies. With the rubies gathered he summoned the mighty Serpent Shen-Wrong the Right, who granted him the wish of immortality. Afterwards, he killed himself and went to hell where he trained under the tutelage of a mighty Cedar tree. He then gained access to the Dred zone, which gave him the power to "cause a shitty after effect to be superimposed upon the screen." Johnmas returned to Quinton's house on the same day he had died to use this power, but he again spent too much time monologuing, giving Quinton time to find a gun. Quinton shot and killed Johnmas once again. Quinton initially hid his body by the side of a rode, before seeing a sign that read "No Dumping" which lead him to move it to a children's park. (Quinton Reviews 'Power Rangers: The Legendary Battle') Mecha-Johnmas Johnmas' body was recovered by an unknown entity, and he was rebuilt into Mecha-Johnmas. Mecha-Johnmas apparently soon began to see himself as a totally new person, noting that the original was "no more" and that he was much more powerful. Using his combined knowledge of Alchemy and Computer sciences, he soon built Nano-Blocks. Mecha-Johnmas again returned to Quinton's home on the same day and this time brought his Nano-Blocks with him (also called Nano-Boxes). However, the Boxes were destroyed by a DVD of The Legend of Frosty the Snowman and Mecha-Johnmas was also killed by the DVD. (Quinton Reviews 'Power Rangers: The Legendary Battle') Resurrected, Again Johnmas was resurrected sometime after this by the Tang, augmented with Nano-Machines (unrelated to Nano-Boxes/Nano-Blocks). He soon allied himself with several forces. These included the Zentribe Armada, the Psycho Rangers, Gauntlet, Glove and an army of Orangatangs controlled by Glove. He also brought with him upgraded Nano-boxes. Johnmas met Quinton in his laundry room and explained his plan, while also doing some of Quinton's laundry. Quinton at first seemed to think that he had no chance of winning this round but soon unleashed a hidden attack. By glaring super hard at anything in his way, he could cause that object to explode. Quinton used this to kill not only Johnmas, but also Gauntlet, Glove, the Rangers, the entire Orangatang army and the whole Zentribe fleet. Johnmas noted during this fight that this was his "final form", suggesting that everything after this would be downhill. (Quinton Reviews 'Power Rangers: The Legendary Battle') Resurrected, another time Johnmas was the resurrected by an unknown entity and hid in Quinton's bedroom on the same day as his previous attacks. He had gone out of his way to retrieve the Orb of Orbulon's Palace, which he had found at a toy aisle at a Walmart, and he planned to use this against Quinton. However, as he again began to explain his plan Quinton again simply shot him with his gun. (Quinton Reviews 'Power Rangers: The Legendary Battle') Resurrected, yet again Johnmas then spent a century in the Heaven splituary, concocting the perfect way to get revenge on Quinton. He then again returned to the same house on the same day and enacted his plan -- to have Quinton arrested for having killed Johnmas so many times. The plan seemed to work, however, Johnmas was soon also arrested for breaking parole. It was then that Quinton and Johnmas remembered that this specific officer was almost certainly a fake (and possibly a rapist), causing them to scream as he drove away with them. Quinton, due to the larger size of his hands, had only one hand-cuff placed on him. (Quinton Reviews 'Power Rangers: The Legendary Battle') Because of this, when the officer stopped the car, he simply got out and left. Johnmas meanwhile, was left to his fate. Johnmas eventually escaped from the fake police officer and began plotting again. While only several months passed for Quinton, several months passed for Johnmas. He spent the decades looking for more artefacts of Orbulon, which he could use to clear his criminal record. He was only able to find the Orb of Orbulon's Palace, which he already had. He also gained scissors that (apparently) could cut the fabric of space and time (as well as paper and sometimes regular fabric). He used this to cut into Quinton's house (in the present, and not on the same day as before). (Quinton Reviews 'A Fairly Odd Summer') This lead to a loud commotion of noise, as Johnmas apparently knocked over several items in that room. Quinton briefly noticed this but chose to ignore it. (Will Quinton Reviews Survive? 'The Thinning' Review) Johnmas waited several weeks to come out of the room, and only finally did after Quinton yelled that he knew he was in there and threatened to "ruin his entrance." Johnmas exited, but was clearly unprepared, having no idea what to threaten Quinton with. He first threatened again to throw the Orb of Orbulon's Palace, then to suffocate him with a plastic bag, before threatening to simply "wreck his shit." He eventually broke down into an existential meltdown, threatening to kill himself to become stronger once again. Quinton then offered to give him a free DVD labelled 20 Furry Tales if he left immediately. Johnmas accepted, but as the DVD was thrown at him he again died. (Quinton Reviews 'Power Rangers: The Legendary Battle') Resurrected, another time Johnmas was then resurrected again and accepted the 20 Furry Tales DVD from Quinton. He attempted to make commentary about the front cover, but Quinton insisted that he leave immediately. Johnmas returned after Quinton had left, which lead to him having more of a meltdown. During this, he realised that he might be gay. (Quinton Reviews 'Power Rangers: The Legendary Battle') Johnmas misunderstood Quinton's instructions to "leave," and stayed in the same room for more time. When he overheard Quinton mock Indiana Jones 4 in the next room, he protested that he enjoyed that film. Quinton grew furious that Johnmas had been secretly living in his house, and instructed him again to leave. (The Star Wars Holiday Special Quinton Reviews) This version of Johnmas died by suicide when he appeared during Quinton's NordVPN sponsor. (Ouija Movies Part 2)